


honestly, say it (what you saying?)

by forsekais



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M, Strangers to Lovers, Summer Vacation, sorry the majestic jongin's fingers i fail to do you justice, the fingering scene is terrible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:28:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26580676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forsekais/pseuds/forsekais
Summary: There's something about the carefree days of summer. There's something about Sehun that makes Jongin's knees go weak and his heart flutter.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 7
Kudos: 611





	honestly, say it (what you saying?)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [185cmbaekhyun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/185cmbaekhyun/gifts).



> alternatively, "the bday fic that finally comes almost 2 months after her bday and it's nothing like the original [ prompt ](https://twitter.com/_sehuning_/status/1284857094995415040?s=20)"
> 
> happy super belated birthday, Grace ♡ this was supposed to be a short fic with meet cute and look where i ended up ┐(︶▽︶)┌
> 
> no beta, so i'm sorry for any grammar mistake in advance. not really sorry for the terrible pick-up lines that i've always loved, but if you're reading, i wanna let you know i really appreciate that ♡

"I hate you," Jongin grumbles as he follows the hotel porter into their suite. "I really hate you, and I hope you know there is a special place in hell reserved just for you because of everything you did to me."

"I know. It's called the throne," Baekhyun chortles at his misery. His Hawaiian shirt starts to hurt Jongin's eyes. "Stop being such a baby. Look at Markeu." Baekhyun points to the red-haired guy who's cheerfully whistling to himself while filming every corner of the lavish hall with his GoPro. "He's as healthy as a horse. Nobody could tell that he got smashed last night."

Mark grins. "It's because I'm young."

Jongin scowls from behind his sunglasses. "Your friend made the worst drinks," he says. "Remind me how he got the barista job again?"

"He's actually one of the best in the area," Mark shrugs, dragging Baekhyun's massive suitcase through the double doors. Why did Baekhyun need to pack his entire wardrobe for such a short trip? Jongin didn't even plan to leave his room. "I think he did you dirty because you looked similar to his ex. They just broke up last week. It went pretty bad."

Jongin could tell from the Prairie Oyster specially made for him last night. The disgusting taste of raw egg yolk and Tabasco sauce still lingers at the back of his throat and he swallows the urge to vomit. "Whatever, I'm not going there again." He slumps down onto the nearest armchair. "Can we go get coffee?"

Baekhyun ignores him. "Wow, the shower is really nice."

"It is," Mark agrees excitedly. Jongin cracks his eyes open and looks at the dazzling, marble-clad bathroom. The tiled soaking tub is perfectly nestled into a windowed corner with views of the sea.

"Coffee," Jongin whines.

Baekhyun fishes out his phone from the pocket of his jeans. "Taemin says he's on his way." He turns to Jongin. "Wanna join us in the shower?"

Before Jongin could open his mouth, Mark jumps in. "Can I call my friend over?"

"The cute receptionist?" Baekhyun asks. Jongin vaguely remembers a blonde guy with lots of piercings. And how it took Baekhyun and Mark forever to leave the front desk. He frowns. "Does Taemin know him? Do _you_ even know him?"

"His name is Ten," Baekhyun says. "Taemin knows him. I have plenty of time time to get acquainted with him in this amazing shower room."

Jongin doesn't want to understand. "Don't count me in," he mutters under his breath. "I just want coffee."

"Then go to the lobby lounge," Baekhyun advises. "Call me if you change your mind." He starts unbuttoning his shirt. "The more the merrier."

Jongin winces. He grabs the key card, then walks out of the door and down the hall.

Inside the elevator, Jongin leans against the wall with his eyes closed. The aching in his skull ebbs and flows like a cold tide, yet the pain is constantly there. Every noise is too loud now. There's snot clogging up at the back of his nose, but he's too tired to get rid of it. He wants to be eighteen again when he crashed house parties five days a week like it was his sole purpose in life and didn't get hangovers. Now with each passing year, they get worse.

The elevator dings, startling Jongin out of his reverie. He tries to push himself up, but his hand slips along the cold wall, causing him to lose balance. He would've sprawled onto the floor with a crashing thump if it hadn't been for those unfamiliar arms around him. There's a really soothing scent - a mix of baby powder and wild flowers on a sunny day.

"Are you alright?"

The voice is mellow, laced with genuine concern, which surprises Jongin. He pushes his sunglasses down his nose and glances over the black rims.

And sort of forgets how to breathe.

"Oh my god," he hyperventilates. The owner of the voice is exactly his type, for lack of a better word. He's gorgeous - long lashes, sharp eyebrows, a perfect nose, and the brightness of his cheeks would put all those stars in the galaxy to shame. He's wearing a pair of skinny jeans that cling to his long legs, with a pink leather jacket accentuating the width of his shoulders. Jongin blinks, staring into the smoldering eyes of the most beautiful guy he's ever seen.

The guy clears his throat, still holding Jongin in his arms. "Uhm? How are you feeling?"

"Good," Jongin croaks out. Realizing the proximity between them, Jongin reluctantly stands back on his feet, hating the sudden warmth that spreads across his cheeks. "Uhm. Thank you. For holding me."

That sounds wrong, but in Jongin's defense, he's too hungover to be smooth as butter. He's not in his best state, his vision fuzzy like Baekhyun's favorite grain filter for selfies, but nothing could’ve stopped him from seeing the smile that takes over the other's chiseled face. His eyes trace the movement of those pink lips as they curve, revealing straight, pearly teeth and suddenly on a Friday morning, Jongin's world tilts off its axis.

_I wonder what his name is._

The guy takes a few steps back. "I'm Sehun," he says. "You know you're speaking out loud, right?"

In the grand scheme of things, Jongin would like to reflect and laugh at this very moment. But not before he'd scold himself for making such a terrible first impression, with bloodshot eyes, messy hair tangled with leftover gel, a tracksuit and a pair of hotel slippers. He doesn't remember whether he uses deodorant this morning, when Mark literally dragged him out of his apartment by the front of his shirt. He has no one to blame but his own for being careless, for living unaware of the possibility that he could run into the love of his life at any time. For hanging out with Mark and getting drunk when he had to get up early.

Sehun tilts his head, one of his immaculate eyebrows furrows in confusion — _oh god, how can someone pretty also be so fricking cute?_

"Dude, you sure you're okay?" Sehun asks. "Should I call someone for you?"

Jongin wheezes. "Your number would be great."

Sehun stills at that, mouth hanging open in a daze for a few seconds before he rights himself.

"What's your name?" Sehun sounds as soft as freshly baked Hokkaido milk bread, and Jongin tries to blink the fatigue out of his eyes to remember the moment that he will recall so many times for the rest of his life, the story of How I Met Your Father he will tell his future kids, the turning point where his monotonous life blends with vivid shades of colors.

"It's Jongin," Jongin replies. His legs are turning into a gooey mass, either because of his hangover or because of Sehun smiling at him. It's probably the latter, since his heart is doing a flip in his chest and damn, Jongin hasn't felt like this since high school, when he finally got the chance to talk to his first crush for the first time. Anxiety, nervousness along with immense happiness, like a thousand butterflies in his stomach. There's a battle between what to say and what not to say. He wishes to express his plethora of emotions, but he's cautious not to say anything stupid. He thinks of all romantic scenes from the movies and novels he has read so far, letting the silence take over the cramped space until he's calm enough to ensure that he's not going to beat around the bush and ask something silly like _How are you?_ and—

Jongin is so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn't hear the elevator ding again. Sehun briefly turns around, then he calls out an unfamiliar name in a cheerful tone that would sweep Jongin off his feet, literally, if it'd been his name and not, "Chanyeol!"

Chanyeol is as tall as the Eiffel Tower and looks like a supermodel with his stylish undercut silver hair slicked back neatly. Although his eyes are hidden behind his sunglasses, the beautifully structured jawline, the muscular arms and the glowing sunkissed skin are enough indication. The obvious glances of the female guests around them are just a bonus.

"What took you so long?" Chanyeol walks up to Sehun. He holds out the cup of peach tea, Sehun cranes his head down to take a sip. "Couldn't find my necklace," Sehun says, sounding like a kicked puppy.

Chanyeol laughs. "Here." He takes a daisy necklace out of his shorts pocket, much to Sehun's surprise. "Seriously, what would you do without me?"

Sehun pads closer until his lips practically touch Chanyeol's ears. He whispers something that makes Chanyeol's grin widen, then Chanyeol responds by bringing his head down to the pale column of Sehun's neck, murmuring back while gently putting the necklace around his neck. They seem like they're in their own world, and the excitement earlier now sits in Jongin's gut like cold coffee, waiting to be drained away.

He turns on his heels and prances down the hallway to the restaurant. He ends up ordering an overpriced vanilla latte, plus a croissant he barely touches, and charges them under Baekhyun's name because in retrospect, it's Baekhyun's fault for organizing this weekend trip and forcing Jongin to come along.

✦

Sehun is taking selfies by the pool.

It's been merely six hours since the elevator incident that Jongin has categorized under his _Things Jongin Never Wants To Talk About_ list and Jongin must be having a run of bad luck to see Sehun, the unattainable Sehun, again. Sehun has changed into a plain black T-shirt, which isn't helpful at all because the simple outfit does a better job in bringing out his elegant features. Sehun does an adorable V-sign pose, and Jongin almost walks into a tree, want buzzing under his skin like fire.

"I think he needs help," Taemin tells Baekhyun, who is munching on his third scoop of ice cream of the evening. Baekhyun scrunches his nose. "I already told him to go ask Sehun out. He didn't listen." He leans over to ruffle Taemin's hair. "Why don't you give him some advice? Maybe he'll listen to mom."

"You two are not my parents," Jongin grunts, ignoring the disappointment that creeps onto Mark's face at his statement. "How many times did I have to tell you that he already has a boyfriend? I'm not going to be a homewrecker."

Sehun props a foot on the chair across him and aims his camera at his ankle.

"Is he taking a footfie?" Mark asks.

"What is a footfie?" Jongin wonders. Not that he cares, but the conversation must keep going in order for him to look natural so Sehun would not figure out that Jongin is looking past Mark's shoulder to watch him. It's pitiful, really, but Jongin can't get the image of Sehun's sweet smile out of his head. He hasn't met someone who could immediately spark his interest in such a long time. After the break-up with his boyfriend of three years in college, Jongin vows to be on hiatus in the love department and since then, his life is all about work, work, work. Occasionally, he takes home a stranger he swipes right on Tinder or meets at a club, relishing in the unadulterated pleasure of bodies tangling in bed, not bothering to ask for a name.

But deep down, Jongin is not heartless. Romanticism is not a commonly used word in his dictionary anymore, yet that doesn't stop him from believing in love, in the idea that one day, he will meet the right person and there'd be no right or wrong timing, because the right person is always timeless.

And may or may not come with a boyfriend.

Jongin sighs. Mark remains blissfully unaware. "It's a selfie of your foot," he explains. "You sure have exquisite taste, hyung. His ankle is pretty."

"Be quiet, Marcus." Jongin presses his fingertips to his temples. "Stop glancing over your shoulder. It makes you suspicious."

"Honey, you're wearing a suit at a pool bar." Baekhyun throws him a quizzical look. He eyes Jongin's huge sunglasses and sneers. "And it's 6 PM. If there's anyone here to be called a creep, that'd be you."

"You're overdressed," Taemin comments. "Why don't you go say hi? He seems lonely over there."

"So his boyfriend can beat me to a pulp?" Jongin scowls. Chanyeol's massive guns should not be underestimated, no matter how friendly and approachable the guy may seem. "No thanks."

"Chanyeol sounds like a nice guy," Baekhyun drawls. According to Ten, the receptionist who went from processing Baekhyun's check-in to sitting on Baekhyun's lap within the span of two hours, Chanyeol and Sehun arrived at the resort three days earlier for a week-long vacation. The reservation is under their friend's name, Bo Hyun, who left yesterday due to an emergency at work. Chanyeol is a music producer and a proud owner of two dogs. He's fluent in Japanese (Ten saw him chatting with a Japanese family about where to eat and what to do in Seoul), smiles a lot, loves wearing tanktops and is always seen by Sehun's side.

The last bit of information tugs at Jongin's heartstrings in a not so good way. He pouts. " _I_ am nice, but if Sehun were my boyfriend, I'd kill any guy who dares to flirt with him."

"So _possessive_ ," Baekhyun purrs. "I miss that side of you."

Taemin snickers politely into his fist. "Yeah, remember when he used to sleep between us because he was scared of the dark?"

"Can you guys stop embarassing me?" Jongin inquires. Sehun has finished taking selfies and is sipping on his watermelon juice. His eyes are glued to his phone, slender fingers tapping incessantly on the screen. Maybe he's starting a new round of game. Sehun looks more like a Mobile League guy than a Pokemon Go guy. His expressive brows squish together in an annoyed frown. Jongin wants nothing other than smoothing away the creases with his own hand.

"Hyung,” Mark says, “you're drooling.” He reaches out and prods at the corner of Jongin's mouth with a napkin, almost choking Jongin in the process. "Hey, if you're too scared to approach him, why don't we do it in group?"

"I'm not scared," Jongin murmurs. "I have ethics. I don't go around and steal people's boyfrie—"

Before he could finish his sentence, Mark already stands up. Jongin gasps in horror as Mark comes to Sehun's table with a long stride, head high and calm demeanor. Taemin is right behind him, and when Jongin knocks over his mojito glass as he scrambles to his feet in a hurry, Taemin winks at him smugly.

God, Jongin really needs new friends.

Sehun stops playing on his phone to look up at Mark. His lips press into a confused line, but soon it transitions to a slight quirk. Taemin quickly joins in the conversation, arms flailing as he gestures towards Jongin's direction. Jongin freezes like a deer in headlights.

Then Sehun waves at him.

"Fuck," Jongin manages to stutter out. He’s flustered, and he’s thankful for his tanned skin because he’s pretty sure that his face is burning red. "Quick, Baekhyun, talk to me."

"Don't be such a coward," Baekhyun says. He doesn't even look at Jongin, too busy texting someone at a furious pace. "I didn't raise you to be like this. I raised you to be the resident hotshot of every teenage boy's wet dream. A sex symbol."

Jongin's parents are actually the ones who raised him. His grandma too, she had him during summer from pre-school to middle school. Despite the facts, it's an argument that he can never win against Baekhyun. "Who are you texting?" He grits his teeth. "I need your help here."

Baekhyun finally throws away his Samsung Galaxy, a mischievous glint in his brown orbs. "I'm texting Markeu," he says casually. Jongin is all of a tingle. His body is reacting as if there's a muscle-bound, beefcake kangaroo about to beat the crap out of him. "Why are you texting Mark? We share the same room."

From the corner of his eyes, Jongin sees Taemin sit down next to Sehun and they start flipping through the menu book. Taemin is talking animatedly about what Jongin thinks is the signature fried rice of the resort, Taemin's ultimate favorite, which he never shuts up about since the moment he tried it two years ago on their celebratory vacation to mark Privé's first collection launch in the U.S. market.

Baekhyun doesn't elaborate further and Jongin is too nervous to press, his gaze roaming over the softness of Sehun's pink hair. He hopes Taemin doesn't accidentally spill some of Jongin's embarassing stories, like he always does, to the point Jongin sometimes questions whether it's accidental or not. Not that he'd have any chance with Sehun, but he doesn't want to make any more bad impression. He even takes his sweet time to dry clean the Gucci suit. Jongin has always been an optimistic guy.

His optimism is cut short when he sports Chanyeol approaching Sehun's table. Chanyeol frowns and Jongin immediately knows that look. _Protectiveness_. He used to do that to any guy who showed any ill intention towards Baekhyun while they were in college. In Jongin's defense, frat boys were not reliable and his hyung had zero common sense when he was drunk, so what he did was a necessity.

Chanyeol places a hand on Taemin's shoulder — his hand is so big that Jongin fears he could break Taemin's bone even with a light squeeze. His legs move by instinct; within seconds he's standing next to Mark, behind Taemin and just less than a meter away from Sehun. He doesn't notice that Baekhyun is smirking from his comfortable position on the leather sofa.

"Taemin," Jongin calls. Both Sehun and Taemin lift their heads up at the sound of his voice, but only Sehun's eyes stop at him.

_Traitor_ , Jongin thinks as Taemin's face lights up with recognition and he breaks into a joyful smile. "Chanyeol!" He chirps. Chanyeol opens his ripped arms invitingly, engulfing Taemin in a bear hug.

Jongin is mortified. Sehun, on the other hand, is unfazed. In fact, there's amusement in his clear, pretty eyes. They briefly scan over Chanyeol and Taemin, then return to Jongin, where they linger for a second too long, sending shiver down Jongin's spine.

"Taeminnie," Chanyeol says. The pet name rolls off his tongue so naturally, so languidly. "What are you doing here?"

"Vacation with my friends," Taemin offers. He rests his hand on the bare skin of Chanyeol's arm. "How about you? A romantic getaway?"

Chanyeol just laughs, boisterously. "Well, it's good to see you," he replies instead. "What have you been up to?"

Their conversation goes easy. They talk about almost everything, trying to catch up with each other. Taemin shares with Chanyeol the story of how he got the leading role for his new detective drama series, then they start to mention names of people in their circle. Apparently, Chanyeol is the producer behind Taemin's many hits back in the day before Taemin decided to step back from his singing career to pursue acting. Mark has retreated back to their table, tucking himself to Baekhyun's side, making them look like two small kittens, all warm and domestic, while Jongin bares a resemblance to utmost awkwardness, judging from the way he stands there staring at his own feet, arms hanging uselessly at his sides.

"Do you want to sit down?"

Jongin blinks dumbly. "Huh?"

Sehun motions towards the empty chair where Taemin used to sit before he jumped into Chanyeol's arms. "I don't think they'll finish any time soon," Sehun shrugs. "Chanyeol can be a bit too enthusiastic when he talks about music." The same applies to Taemin. "So you can sit if you want. I don't bite."

Oh, how he wishes Sehun would just bite him. It'd be hot. "Right," he croaks. "Th-thank you."

Sehun hums in response. Jongin's hands are trembling and his brain-to-mouth filter decides it's a good time to shut off. "And thank you for earlier too." Sehun raises his brow questioningly. "In - in the elevator," he hiccups. "You saved me. From falling."

_But I end up falling for you instead_. "Ah." Surprise crosses Sehun's face as he gives Jongin a once over. "Oh," he exhales. "You look...different. No offense."

"None taken," Jongin says, feeling a sudden boost of confidence. He brings up his ring clad fingers to touch his neck, making sure that the shirt buttons are still as useless as Jongin wants them to be. "I don't usually look like _that_ , you know. I went out really late the night before, and the assholes just threw me into their car and drove here without my consent. I was set up."

Sehun stares at Jongin. Jongin chews the inside of his cheeks. Is he too lame? Too rude? Too much information? Out of self-consciousness, he begins to move further away when Sehun bursts out laughing. He looks _happy_ , and Jongin senses a wave of guilt eating him up for not making the effort to talk to Sehun earlier. His high-pitched laugh is endearingly embarassing. As in endearing with a hint of embarassing, not _embarassing_ embarassing like Baekhyun's cackle.

"It's okay," Sehun assures him, slightly out of breath. His mochi cheeks puff out cutely; he sort of reminds Jongin of a hamster. "I don't judge a book by its cover. You're great." He pauses, then another blinding smile. "Jongin."

Stupefaction overrides Jongin's brain. "You remember my name?"

"Yeah," Sehun nods. "It's quite hard to forget when your friend keeps reminding me every other sentence." He crosses his legs. "I didn't catch your friend's name though."

Jongin hates Mark. "He goes by The Short Asshole," he declares. If Sehun is weirded out, he doesn't show it. He smiles at Jongin again and Jongin's legs are ready to give themselves up as he melts into a puddle of affection and desperation.

"Are you sure this is alright?" Sehun says. He makes a gesture at Chanyeol, who is now sharing earphones with Taemin, the two of them engaging in what seems to be a heated discussion about contemporary dance and rap. "He's not interrupting any plan, is he? Dinner time or something like that?"

They're actually half an hour late to dinner, Sehun doesn't have to know that. The excessive amount of ice cream in Baekhyun's stomach is enough to keep him full. Mark is a full grown adult who can find food on his own. "Don't worry," he flashes Sehun a grin. "We don't have any plan for tonight." Maybe this is his only chance. He's not going to break off any relationship, but it doesn't hurt to create a memory together. "So, Sehun," he says, testing the other's name on his tongue and immediately liking the sound of it. "Do you want to—"

"Ah, you're the elevator guy!" Chanyeol's voice booms from behind. The universe is having its joke of the century at Jongin's expense. "How're you feeling?"

"Much better," Jongin says, wishing Chanyeol could go back to whatever he's doing with Taemin.

"Cool," Chanyeol pats his back, as if Jongin were his longtime buddy and not a creep who's been studying the plumpness of his boyfriend's lips for scientific purpose. "Sehun and I gotta leave now. Our friend is waiting for us, but we'll see ya later, 'kay?"

"I invite them to join us at Elyxion," Taemin explains. Elyxion is a charming local bar with a chill vibe. The owner, Jongdae, is a close friend of Baekhyun in college and he's the main reason why Baekhyun loves to come here on vacation. "Jongdae says we can come any time after 10." He turns to Chanyeol. "Do you wanna go with us from here? We'll be leaving at around 10."

"I'm good," Chanyeol says. He runs a hand through Sehun's hair and Sehun remains planted in his seat, way too familiar with the intimate touch. Jongin tears his gaze away. "But can I leave Sehunnie to you?"

Jongin chokes on his spit. Taemin, thankfully, is graceful as usual. "Of course you can," he tells Chanyeol. "But aren't you guys about to go meet your friend?"

"We're coming to Raiden's house and eat with his family," Chanyeol says. "But Sehunnie has a Zoom meeting at 9 and he prefers doing it in our room rather than at Raiden's place, so he'll come back to the resort after dinner. I was planning to drive him back." He scratches at his head sheepishly. "I haven't seen Raiden in two months and there are some new recordings I'd like to show him—"

"Got it, got it," Taemin says. "Don't worry, we will get Sehun to Elyxion safe and sound." He drapes an arm around Jongin's shoulder. "Right, Jongin?"

"Yeah," Jongin exhales. Chanyeol beams. "Nice!" He claps. "Alright, Sehun will be in the lobby at 10, and I'll meet y'all at the bar."

✦

Jongin could barely focus on dinner. The nervousness hooks up to him like an animal to a cattle fence, not enough voltage to kill but sufficient to keep things uncomfortable. He leaves the steak untouched, opting for a small bowl of crab meat soup he steals from Ten. Ten seems worried.

"You should eat more, hyung," Ten says in fluent Korean. "What if you faint in the middle of making out?"

Jongin resists the urge to shove an entire loaf of bread down Ten's throat. "It's just a fifteen-minute drive," he roars. "Nothing gonna happen."

"Then why are you so jittery?" Baekhyun opens his mouth so Taemin could feed him a forkful of grilled salmon. "Don't worry. I've seen the way he looks at you."

Jongin does too. When Sehun's eyes reflect the light, they make tiny stars and in these stars Jongin sees a glimpse of himself. Still, as optimistic as he is, he refrains from manifesting misplaced hope. Maybe Sehun only wants fun. Maybe Sehun is just being nice. Maybe Sehun is interested in getting to know him as a friend. Jongin makes a pretty amazing friend.

"Maybe he's into polyamory," Mark suggests. If this is Hogwarts, Jongin would hex his face off his head. "Can we stop talking like there will be something between me and Sehun? It's just a stupid physical attraction that I'll forget after a few shots. No big deal."

"Well," Taemin says. "Crushing is different than physical attraction."

"I wish Lucas and Taeyong were here," Jongin cries. "They're better than all of you."

"It's because neither of them are in a position to give you any useful relationship advice," Baekhyun replies. Which is true. Taeyong has been crushing on this photographer from NCT magazine since last winter and starts panicking every time the guy is around, while Lucas acquires his so-called love experience solely from those dramas he binge watches on Netflix. They're hopeless and pathetic, just like Jongin at the moment.

"Hey, Ten," Jongin says. "Do you want to drive with me instead? Sehun can go in Taemin's car."

Ten shoots him an unapologetic smile. "Sorry, hyung. Baekhyun hyung already got other...plans for me."

Baekhyun smirks, and Jongin absolutely doesn't need any further detail.

✦

"Hey," Sehun's soothing voice rings through the air. "Are you _really_ sure you're okay?"

It's a strange case of déjà vu. Same question, different context. Jongin is sober, but he kinda wishes he were piss drunk shitfaced, that way he wouldn't have to notice Sehun's collarbones peeking out from under his shirt. Or how Sehun effortlessly outdid the models at Dior fashion show in Paris by wearing the new Dior cardigan. His lovely cheeks deserve the sweetest, softest kisses and. No. Jongin is not going there. He has dignity.

"I'm good," Jongin says. The music he’d put on to calm his nerves is doing no good, he can only hear the sound of his heart beating loudly in his ears. "Just. Yeah."

Sehun studies him for a moment. "How long until we arrive?"

"Thirty minutes max." The usual route takes fifteen minutes, but it's closed down due to an accident in the afternoon. Jongin has to take the highway, which is a bless and a curse simultaneously. He gets to spend more time with Sehun, alone, while seemingly unable to hold a casual conversation without breaking into cold sweat.

Sehun turns his gaze to the line of cars in front of them. "Maybe longer," he shrugs, fumbling with the pockets of his jeans and pulls out a small plastic bottle. "Wanna pregame?"

Now this is a new development. "Seriously?" He asks. Sehun lifts an eyebrow, as to wonder what is wrong with his invitation. "Are you eighteen?"

The second the question leaves his mouth, Jongin immediately regrets it. He's not judging, but Sehun is a stranger, and his attitude could come off as rude. Luckily, Sehun only smiles, opens the bottle and takes a sip. He sits back in his seat, somehow his relaxed posture eases the tension out of Jongin.

"Twenty-six, actually," he says. "Otherwise I'd have asked you to blast _Party Rock Anthem_."

"Then shoot down Everclear over my kitchen sink? Good god, it feels like ages ago." Jongin snorts, eyeing the bottle between Sehun's slender fingers. "It's not Everclear, is it?"

"No, it's Brown Derby," Sehun laughs, his pink tint visible in the dark of Jongin's car. "I made it earlier during my meeting."

This time, Jongin is the one laughing. He holds out his palm, Sehun wastes no time in giving him the liquid. Warmth sears through him as Sehun's thumb brushes against his, feather-light touch on bare flesh. "Didn't know you're into breaking rules."

The light smell of honey mixed with bourbon tastes great, better than a shot of vodka. Adult pregaming is truly about sweet moderation. "Rules are made to be broken," Sehun drawls, then turns his head to face Jongin directly. "Is it weird? Hearing such a thing from a lawyer."

Jongin chokes on the last drop. Sehun quickly leans over to pat him on the back. "You alright?"

This must be the most frequently asked question from Sehun to Jongin, but Jongin has more urgent matter to address. "You're a lawyer?"

A frown is set on Sehun's lips, corners turned downwards. "Why are you so surprised?"

Jongin gets the impression that it's not the first time Sehun sees such reaction. "I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't mean that you are just a pretty face." The very few lawyers Jongin's met are ruthless with their deceitful charms. They're excellent at their job, but also unpredictable. Minseok, Baekhyun's cousin, one of the most successful attorneys in South Korea once told Jongin, "There's a serial killer lurking inside me. I keep him entertained with high quality weed, booty calls and OT." Jongin'd stared back, because what did one say to that?

He tells Sehun exactly that, and watches the amusement etched into his face. "We all have our own demons to fight, I guess." He concludes. "But law is not as dramatic as portrayed on television. It's just an occupation. You deal with sketches and models, I deal with broken marriage and opposing counsel. The expectation is similar."

Jongin is not even surprised that Sehun knows he's a fashion designer. Mark probably goes as far as telling Sehun about where Jongin's great grandfather came from, or how Jongin got the scar on his lower back when he was eight. He's going to assign Mark to Seulgi, the most feared creative director in the industry for her talent and her critics, for the latter's next modeling project. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

"So you think I'm pretty?" Sehun asks. Jongin snaps his focus back to reality. The tiny studs on Sehun's necklace glint under the moonlight, Sehun's slightly red lips clash with his milky skin. "Yeah," he mumbles. "Though you already know that."

"Hmm," Sehun hums, drawing his eyes back to the road outside the window. "Tell me about Elyxion."

Jongin presses on the gas, pulling out of the line and speeds up. Their conversation goes smoothly. Jongin's happy with the turn of events. Sehun, in contrast with his stoic face, is talkative and _hilarious_. He tells Jongin about his childhood dream of being an astronaut, exploring furthest limits of the past, present and future in galaxies far, far away. Jongin lets Sehun in on his goal of becoming a ballerino. Turn out they have quite a lot of things in common. They like video games and horror movies, both have The Weeknd on their destress playlist, prefer dogs over humans ("Humans are the scariest," Sehun declares with the tiniest of pout and Jongin agrees.) They are the baby of their group of friends ("I think Baekhyun seriously believes he's my dad", "Wait until he meets Junmyeon"). They like sweets (Sehun needs his weekly dose of chocolate bubble tea to function and Jongin would go crazy if he can't get cheesecake on a regular basis), hate crowds, and have a profound interest in dancing. They both subscribe to Zhang Yixing's YouTube channel, and when Jongin shyly admits that he sometimes goes to Weibo to defend Yixing against stupid comments from antis, Sehun's eyes brighten as he congratulates Jongin on a job well done.

They sing to Yixing's latest single, Sehun chuckles into his palm when Jongin's attempt at a high note goes wrong. Jongin glares at him playfully. It's weird, but Jongin feels like he clicks with Sehun instantly, like two pieces of a puzzle, and it's not because of Sehun's attractiveness. Suddenly, Taemin's words earlier run through his mind. _Crushing is different than physical attraction_. A physical attraction is when you want to get into their pants. A crush is when you want to capture the way they smile when they're excited, want to brush their hair out of their eyes. A crush is when instead of ogling their ass, you imagine holding their hands as you walk down the streets. A crush is when you realize you will never get tired of hearing their voice, so you gather all the courage and ask what you've been dying to know.

"So, you and Ch—" Jongin's words are cut off when Sehun abruptly turns around. He rolls down the window, then says, "Hey, Jongin, I think you just drive past the bar!"

"Shit." Jongin steers the wheel to the right and makes a left turn. "Thanks," he tells Sehun once the car comes to a stop in front of Elyxion a few minutes later. "If I went past that crossroad, we'd have to go ten miles before we could turn."

Sehun unbuckles his seat belt. "No problem," he says, tugging at the collar of his shirt. "So, uhm, where are you going to park?"

"There's a garage a few houses down. You can go in first. Table 8. Baekhyun already orders the first round."

Sehun nods, but he doesn't open the door. They are just sitting in the car, an old song playing faintly on the radio. Sehun's cologne is a delicious blend of vanilla and tobacco, then Jongin's body seems to move on its own accord. He scoots closer to Sehun, who's watching him with wide eyes while remaining still in his seat. The air between them is deafeningly silent, Jongin can hear Sehun's shuddering breath when Jongin's hand rests on his forearm.

"Sehun," Jongin says.

"Jongin," Sehun whispers back. Jongin's eyes are reflecting the lights from the street as he drinks on the sight of Sehun, brighter than the moon and caging Jongin in the heat of a thousand suns. Jongin couldn't look away. Even if he tries, he'd see Sehun's face when he closes his eyes.

It's terrifying.

"Were you asking me something earlier?" Sehun's voice is small, but it's enough to bring Jongin back to the ground. How could he momentarily forget? Chanyeol. He was about to ask about Chanyeol. Sehun's _boyfriend_.

"It's nothing," he lies. Sehun stares at him, then his phone rings, which Jongin takes as a cue to move back to the driver's seat.

"Chanyeol? Yeah, we've just arrived. There was traffic on the highway." His gaze flickers up to Jongin and Jongin swallows hard. He weakly murmurs _Table 8_ again, and this time, Sehun's nod is affirmative.

"I'll see you in there," Sehun says when he hangs up, then in a heartbeat, gets out of Jongin's car.

Jongin heaves out a sigh to the emptiness around him. He'll just focus on getting drunk tonight. As long as he ignores Sehun and Chanyeol doing whatever they'd be doing, he'd be fine. He could handle this much.

✦

Jongin rests his hand on the rough paintwork that coats the table. Jongdae's concept of vintage may have gone quite too far, he thinks as rough wooden splinters cut into his skin. The bar is hundreds of conversations told in loud voices, all of them competing with the rock music DJ-ed by Jongdae. Next to Jongin, Baekhyun has an arm around Taemin's shoulder, just like Chanyeol does with Sehun. Jongin desperately wants to look away, but it's not like he has many choices. It's either Sehun with the smooth expanse of milky skin illuminated only by the age-speckled lights, or Mark slipping his tongue past Ten's mouth right beside Sehun. He decides on the former.

Taemin and Chanyeol are talking about Taemin's debut days, where they met during a collaboration between two entertainment agencies. Baekhyun chimes in and adds some comments here and there; it turns out they have a bunch of mutuals. Baekhyun knows almost everyone in South Korea and beyond, so the revelation isn't much of a shock. Sehun is quiet, he spends most of the time sipping on his whiskey with no ice and reading something on his phone. His tolerance is not bad — Jongin doesn't mean to keep count, but by the time Chanyeol ends his trip down the memory lane with Taemin, Sehun is on his fifth glass and he is just barely tipsy.

Baekhyun, on the other hand.

"Let's play _Never Have I Ever._ " He slams his tiny first down on the table, spending shards of black paint to the reddish carpet. Mark and Ten chorus in agreement, Taemin softly announces that he'd be sitting out as an observer, to which Baekhyun nods since he can't say no to Taemin. Jongin sighs, since he can't say no to Baekhyun.

A beat of silence, then Baekhyun stares at Chanyeol and Sehun. "You two in?"

It sounds more like a challenge than an invitation. Jongin'd expected Chanyeol to agree without blinking an eye, considering how competitive he is from the stories Taemin just reminisced about. Surprisingly, Chanyeol starts twiddling with his hair, his gaze flickers from Baekhyun's flawless face to Sehun's indifferent expression. Sehun pockets his phone, and raises his tequilla to his lips, gently tapping against the glass until the ice cubes jingle.

Jongin stares blankly as Sehun watches him through the amber liquid, feeling the heat leach into his own drink as he downs it in one go. A sour and vile taste burns his tongue. He breathes in a fragrance that only years in an oak barrel can achieve. Across the table, Sehun grins.

"Sure, let's play."

The game starts with Baekhyun's " _Never have I ever sent a dick pic to the wrong number_ ," Mark chuckles when Ten and Jongin both take swigs of their drinks. The next twenty minutes are just Baekhyun leading the table to ask dirty questions meant to expose everyone's sex life, and occasionally succeeds.

By the time their glasses are empty, it's revealed that Chanyeol and Sehun have a pet kink, Baekhyun's had sex in almost all possible public places and never got caught, Mark's first time was with a girl, Ten likes food play, and Jongin once did it with his Philosophy professor in a storage room.

Mark is by far the most sober of them, but he's too preoccupied by glaring into his half-full glass to care. Because apparently he’d never ever done anything, except taking that girl from his high school Chemistry class from behind, half their clothes still on. He's made out with Baekhyun's squad, Jongin not included, but it stops at that since Baekhyun and Taemin are very insistent on their _Marcus is just a baby_ agenda.

Taemin catches Mark's pout and relents. "All right, for the next round we're switching back to _normal_ questions." He holds up his index finger to stop Baekhyun from whining. "Let's try getting to know each other more."

"Taeminnie is right!" Chanyeol slurs in English. He drums his fingers on the edge of the table, while leaning to Sehun with his left arm secured around Sehun's waist. Sehun nestles his head on Chanyeol's shoulder, soft giggles leaving his strawberry red, _kissable_ lips as he listens to Ten imitating his grumpy manager. A weird feeling coils in Jongin's gut. It's jealousy, and it's ugly.

"Hyung?" Jongin hears the concern in Ten's voice. "Are you okay?"

Not that question again. He musters up a smile. "Yeah, I'm good. Who's gonna go next?"

They agree on doing a shot for the second round. It's chaotic, Mark and Chanyeol are much louder when they're inebriated. Sehun is clingier, too, he's practically alternating between pressing his cheek against Chanyeol's and snuggling up to Ten, who's too wasted to notice the deathly glares Jongin throws at him.

"Never ever have I ever, um.” Chanyeol pauses. “Done drugs.”

Baekhyun pours himself a shot and chokes on it the moment he sees Mark reach for the bottle. "What the hell?"

"It's not a big deal, yo," Mark wipes his mouth with his shirt sleeve. "It was a ritual where I went to college."

"You got mixed up with the wrong kind," Baekhyun says in his disappointed fatherly tone. He finishes his shot and quickly pushes the glass aside. "I'm out. Gotta be a role model for my kid."

"You do realize you're not his dad, don't you?" Taemin says, but there's fondness in his eyes. Baekhyun laughs and scoots closer to Taemin, pillowing his head on the younger's lap. The game drags on until Jongin's vision wavers. He struggles to keep his eyes open. It’s like some sort of outer body experience. His body doesn't listen to the signals his brain is sending him. He tugs at the hem of Mark's shirt. The boy automatically opens up his arms and Jongin settles against Mark's chest.

Ten pats his thigh sympathetically. "Let's wrap up," he looks at the last bottle of gin in front of them. "Finish this and we can call it a night."

"Bring it on," says Chanyeol.

Ten's sharp eyes glint for a passing second. He smirks. "Never have I ever gotten laid in the last week."

Mark huffs out a breath and eyes Ten skeptically. "That sounds impossible for you."

"Babe, is that supposed to be a compliment?" Ten grins, delirious. Mark blushes at the pet name. "In case you're not aware yet," he skims a hand down Mark's back. "I'm _selectively_ horny."

"So," Chanyeol's voice is barely above a whisper, "none of you?"

"They're babies," Baekhyun cuts in, his gaze oscillates between sarcastic, entertained and protective. "I'm the champion. You're lucky I'm not playing. Now, drink up."

Chanyeol shrugs. He grabs the bottle, fills his glass and downs all of it in one go.

What everyone doesn't expect is Sehun sitting still, not making any move to take the mostly-empty bottle from Chanyeol's hand. He's staring down at a plate of dark chocolate almonds, like it's the most interesting thing he's ever seen all night. The whole table goes eerily quiet.

Sehun seems to be at a loss for words, but he doesn't look angry. Jongin can't understand — Chanyeol literally just admits he had sex with someone who isn't Sehun in front of Sehun, and Sehun isn't mad. He isn't _anything_ , his face void of emotions as he cups a hand around the nape of Chanyeol's neck. "Hyung, you're drunk."

Chanyeol doesn't flinch. "I'm fine, Sehunnie."

"Dude," Baekhyun frowns. "Did you even understand what Ten was talking about?"

"Of course I am," Chanyeol exclaims. "He said he hadn't had sex in the last seven days. A week. But I did. Well, you probably did too."

Maybe their romance is unorthodox, one that isn't bound by physical intimacy. Still, it doesn't make any sense to Jongin. They're not subtle with their displays of affection; Jongin may be baked out of his mind but he isn't blind, he sees The Look Chanyeol gives Sehun, the adorable eye smile Sehun sends back his way, and their interlaced hands under the table earlier. Chanyeol looks at Sehun like he hung the moon and the stars, which Sehun definitely did while Chanyeol was busy sleeping around with some stranger.

What shocks Jongin is how easily Sehun lets him do so. Anger spreads through Jongin's chest like wildfire at the thought of Sehun being hurt so many times that he's getting used to it. He knows he's getting ahead of himself here, he knows nothing about Sehun's relationship with Chanyeol, too scared to ask, yet he has this sudden, overwhelming urge to protect Sehun, to shield him from all nightmares, to give him the only thing that he deserves — happiness.

In his drunken stupor, he finds Sehun raising an eyebrow at him and realizes he must've done something weird, if the way his knuckles whiten around Mark's sleeve in absent desperation isn't obvious enough. He lets go of Mark, his heart rate rises a little and his face flushes even pinker under Sehun's scrutiny.

The familiar (yes, two times are enough to develop a sense of familiarity) ringtone of Sehun's phone cuts through the silent air. Sehun blinks at the screen, his mouth parts in surprise before he shakes a drowsy Chanyeol awake. "It's Gaeko hyung."

"Shit," Chanyeol curses. He clamps onto Sehun's forearm to pull himself up from his seat. "I'm gonna take this."

"It's not like you have any other choice," Sehun rubs over a spot where Chanyeol had pressed his fingers a little too hard. Chanyeol scoffs and winds his way through the warm bodies on the dance floor towards the exit.

"I think it's time to head back," Taemin says. Baekhyun darts his gaze between Sehun and Jongin, but doesn't press. "Okay," he tells Taemin eventually. "Let me say goodbye to Jongdae first."

Taemin nods. "I'll go with you." Then Ten mumbles something about how the music sucks and makes a beeline for the jukebox. Startled, Mark abruptly pushes Jongin off his lap to run after Ten to make sure he doesn't make a scene.

That leaves only Sehun and Jongin at the booth. Back to square one. The collective volume in the bar is chaos. Jongin's eyes are drawn to Sehun's fingers tapping the rim of his glass absentmindedly. Delicate. The world is spinning faster than normal, and there's a small voice quietly nagging at the back of Jongin's mind, telling him that whatever he's about to do, he'd not like it when he wakes up tomorrow. But tomorrow is a different story, so Jongin props himself up and carefully takes Sehun's hand in his.

"I'm sorry," he says. Sehun's face creases with confusion. Jongin licks his dry lip. "A drinking game is not the right way to find out. I mean, you deserve to know, just not like this."

Sehun looks more confused. The good thing, Jongin notices, is that he doesn't take his hand away. His warmth seeps into Jongin's skin, making his heart trip. "I'm going to be very honest with you," Sehun says. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Chanyeol," is all Jongin says. Sehun goes "Oh," stretching out his legs under the table and accidentally bumping into Jongin's. "Sorry." Jongin shakes his head. Sehun continues, his voice a pleasant rumble. "Ah, Chanyeol. I'm just surprised, I guess. He didn't tell me about going there. Usually we tell each other everything. I'll talk to him tomorrow." He glances at his watch. "Well, later today. It's already past midnight."

It's not about the time. Sehun shouldn't be willingly to settle down with a cheater. Sehun needs someone who'd give him the world without being asked, someone who takes him home safely every night, someone who looks at him like he holds the universe in his hands. Someone like Jongin.

Jongin isn't sure if he's lucid enough when he blurts out, "You know I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."

Sehun's face softens into a smile that invades his eyes. He leans forward and squeezes Jongin's hand. "Thank you. It's the nicest thing anyone ever said to me today."

Jongin tries to not get distracted at their close proximity, and fails. He could count the number of Sehun's long eyelashes, could feel his own lips quiver as he draws in Sehun's cologne. He sets his drink on the table with a loud thud, not disposed to make a fool of himself in Sehun's presence again. The lights in the bar highlights Sehun's glowing skin, Jongin is breathless. Assuming that Jongin hasn't heard him clearly, Sehun repeats, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Jongin murmurs. "I'm glad you found me nice."

Jongin watches as Sehun's eyes widen with amusement, and he wishes the floor would just open and swallow him whole to save him from this secondhand embarassment. His mouth must have been disappointed, for he could've use it for better purpose, like kissing Sehun until those moist lips turn cherry red, like sucking on creamy skin until it blooms into a bruise. But what's the etiquette for this, telling Sehun in a crowded bar that his boyfriend is an asshole and that Jongin desperately wants to make out with him? Even if Chanyeol leaves, Sehun probably has guys lining up for him, guys who don't freak out at the mere presence of him, so why would he consider wasting his time on Jongin?

"I think everyone will find you nice," Sehun adds. "Unless you're only nice to me?"

Wow, Jongin decides he wants to ascend to heaven. Or descend into the ocean and become a jellyfish with no brain, no thought, just float and look pretty. And sting people if they bother him. Sting Chanyeol, specifically.

Sehun pets lightly on his wrist, enough to drive Jongin dizzy with anticipation. Is that his cue? Words slip without his permission. "Just you."

For a few seconds, Sehun is stunned. It's clear that he isn't expecting such boldness, but he's quick to adapt. "I see," he grins, eyes fully on Jongin.

Jongin's breath lodges in his throat, but he manages to croak out a, "Is that a bad thing?"

Sehun replies with a question. "Are you going to drive us back to the hotel?"

Jongin isn't sure what to expect, but the bar is not his preferred scenery anyway. He rubs his palm over his knee. "I'll try."

"Great, I'll go find Chanyeol," Sehun says. For the first time since they met, Jongin is thankful at the mention of Chanyeol, because he can feel a knot tighten in his stomach, the air around them becomes asphyxiating and if he continues to speak, he might heave.

"I don't think it's a good idea," Taemin declares. Baekhyun is hanging off his back like a parasite, completely inebriated. Ten already passes out in the back seat of Taemin's car, head lolling on Mark's shoulder. Mark is just staring out of the window, a hand idly picking at his chapped lips. Jongin knows that once Taemin gets into the car, Mark will start discussing the morality of lies or the meaning of death. He's a philosophical drunk who thinks he could suddenly become Jean-Paul Sartre with a snapback with a little bit of liquor in his system.

Jongin turns his attention back to Taemin. "Are you talking about driving back? Or are you talking about me wanting to jump Sehun?"

"The second," Taemin says. "I just don't want you to regret it." Sex is sex. It's always been like that for Taemin. For Jongin, it's different if feelings are involved. Taemin has this ability to throw his feelings out of the door before he throws away his clothes if he needs to. Jongin can't do that. That's why he never asks his one night stand for their name. That's why he doesn't save any number.

"It's not like anything gonna happen," Jongin assures Taemin, though it sounds more like he's talking to himself. "I'll just drop him and his boyfriend off."

"Okay," Taemin rolls his eyes. "Don't say I didn't warn you." He opens his car's door and gently puts Baekhyun in the passenger seat. "Still have you key?"

Jongin pats his front pocket, where he keeps the hotel card. "Yes," he says, not sure if he will come back to their suite tonight.

✦

"Your friends are really nice," is the first thing Sehun says when he slouches into the passenger seat. Chanyeol is already asleep, sprawling across the back seat as still as a brick. The only movement is the slight rise and fall of his chest.

"Chanyeol is also nice," Jongin turns the car around. Most of the houses are dark. There's no one in sight. "Taemin likes him."

"Everyone likes Chanyeol," Sehun laughs softly. "I introduced my friends to him and now he's even closer to them than me."

"You literally just describe Baekhyun," Jongin says. "He met Taemin through me but usually people would think it was the other way around. What's interesting is that Taemin doesn't let people in easily. Baekhyun is irresistible."

Sehun makes a sound of acknowledgment. "You're not jealous, are you?"

Jongin is taken by surprise. "Jealous of what?"

"Baekhyun and Taemin." Sehun's gaze is on the highway. His voice goes deeper, at the same time, it's still smooth enough to melt ice. Jongin wills himself to stay focused. He gets asked that a lot , since Taemin is his childhood best friend and Baekhyun is his favorite hyung. "No," he replies. "They always go to great lengths to make sure I don't feel left out." The alcohol makes him more talkative. "Not that I ever ask them to. I love both of them equally and I think it's good that they're together since I don't have to worry about any potential jerk breaking their hearts."

There's a pause. Then Sehun turns on the radio, a ballad begins to play. It almost drowns out Sehun's next words, but Jongin has a knack for details. "Don't worry, someday you'll find someone special again."

Jongin turns his head so fast he breathes out, with relief, when his neck is still intact. "What?" The horror must be clear in his tone, because Sehun also turns around, his eyes meeting Jongin's. "I wasn't romantically involved with Baekhyun or Taemin! Or anyone in the squad. _Oh god_."

Very unnecessary memories flood back and Jongin wishes for nothing but Baekhyun and Taemin deliberately leaving him out of whatever they'd be doing for the rest of his life. He'd rather give himself a vasectomy than date them. "Please. Don't." He whines and the tiny frown on Sehun's face transforms into a full grin. "Okay okay," he says. "Could've fooled me. Glad we clear that up."

Since they're already on the topic. "I thought it was clear as day," he says, remembering the words Baekhyun'd told him when they first started Privé from nothing. _Be brave_. _Have courage_. Pretty sure Baekhyun doesn't mean that as an excuse for Jongin to let his mouth roam free when he's fucking drunk but whatever. "That none of them is my type. You are."

Sehun doesn't say anything back. Jongin keeps his gaze on the road and wishes to become one with the sand on the beach. The gentle shuffing noises Chanyeol makes in his deep slumber only fuels the loud noise ringing in Jongin's ears. He's not sure if it's real. The air is too thick to inhale, and he desperately wants to get out of the car. He couldn't wait to get back into his room and sleep. A good sleep would make him feel better.

Luckily, the familiar restored colonial building comes into sight and Jongin pulls up in front of the lobby. "We're here," he says. "Good night."

"Jongin," Sehun says, voice rougher than before. Jongin should stop thinking. About anything. "Yes?" He clears his throat.

"Can you help me with carrying Chanyeol back to our suite?" Sehun points to the back seat. His eyes are reflecting the bright lights from the lobby and the car's headlights. Maybe if Jongin leans close enough, he'd find his own reflection too. "It's okay if you don't want to," Sehun bites his lip nervously, and fuck it, Jongin is having a really _bad_ case of crush. "I can ask the staff—"

"Sure, no problem," Jongin says. "Let me find the valet first. I'll be back in a minute, okay?"

Chanyeol turns out to be a cooperative drunk. He cracks open one eye and waves at Jongin when Jongin tries to haul him out of the car, but that's all he does. He rests his head against Sehun's shoulder during the entire elevator ride, barely makes a sound as Sehun and Jongin drag him down the long hallway to his and Sehun's suite. He only mutters something incoherent when Jongin is taking off his shoes, which Sehun translates as, " _Give me some water, please,_ " and Jongin could only watch in awe because he never thinks drunk people could be so amicable, not when he's spent years with Baekhyun the reckless drunk who decides he’s Superman, Criss Angel and Wonder Woman all in one after a few vodka shots and attempts to do stupid, dangerous things, or Taemin the DJ drunk that commandeers the Spotify playlist all night and forces everyone to shake their ass to _Party in the USA._

Sehun and Jongin manage to get Chanyeol to the master bedroom after he finishes the small water bottle. Chanyeol immediately buries his face in the pillow, his breaths slow and steady. Sehun pulls the blanket over him, then steps away from the king-sized bed and closer to Jongin.

"Thank you. I owe you once."

"No worries," Jongin could hardly hold Sehun's gaze for more than one second at a time. "I'm returning the favor. Uhm." He blinks at his watch. 2 AM. "Uhm. I guess I should head back?"

"Is that a question?"

Maybe? Jongin isn't sober enough for a rhetoric assignment. He is, however, clear-cut for a kiss. Not that he will tell anyone, much less Sehun.

"I'll walk you to the door," Sehun offers nonchalantly, like he doesn't catch Jongin chance a glimpse at his ass a few moments ago.

"Cool," Jongin says, in an unconvincing tone. The living room smells pleasant, a light, sweet floral scent. If Jongin were sober he would actually be able to tell the brand of the essential oils. Right now, his head is just a fuzz, his eyes keep going back to Sehun's lean frame walking ahead of him.

"What is that?" Sehun asks. Jongin looks up, confused, and Sehun clarifies. "You're humming to a song or something."

"Oh," Jongin bites his lip. "I'm just thinking."

"Isn't it a bit too late to think," Sehun says dryly, and Jongin doesn't know sarcasm can look that good on someone until Sehun. Everything would look good on Sehun. "Or early. Depends on whether you're a morning or night person."

"I'm flexible," Jongin says, with confidence. That's something he really is, and not just in the professional aspect — anyway. "But it's not important. I always think about you and your soft pink hair and your perfect mochi cheeks," he slaps a hand over his mouth as his brain finally registers what he just said. He wonders if embarassment looks good on him. He doubts it, he's not Sehun.

It is, frankly, the last thing Jongin expects, but Sehun's laughing. He keeps his voice loud enough only for Jongin to hear, and marches further into Jongin's territory, until Jongin can feel hot breaths fanning across his face.

"You're so generous with compliments," Sehun says, a finger tugging at Jongin's collar. The way he says it is like a promise, a secret. Of what, Jongin isn't sure. Their legs are touching now, not just a feather-light brush, but a full-on contact that leaves Jongin's stomach churning with excitement. Sehun is warm, the kind of warmth that momentarily makes Jongin's future seem a little less bleak.

Sehun drags his finger slowly down Jongin's cardigan. Jongin chokes on thin air.

"So," Jongin says, because he’s probably truly gone in the past several minutes, considering how Sehun's being emotionally available to him and Sehun's pretty eyes glinting in the dim yellow light. "Wanna...talk? Bathroom?"

Sehun snorts. "And your friend said you were _the_ smooth talker." But he brushes past Jongin to lead the way. Jongin follows him, the room swimming around him as he tries to balance his feet. When he walks by the bedroom, he slows down as panic washes over him. What if Chanyeol wakes up and finds Jongin with his boyfriend? He'd never be able to walk out in one piece. Even if he could, Baekhyun'd disown him and the disappointment in Taemin's eyes would scar him for eternity.

"Jongin, stop thinking," Sehun says. He deserves an award for Best Advice Of The Year. "Come here. I'm not sober enough to hold the door forever."

Jongin can't detect any noise on the other side of the bedroom door. Taemin didn't lie when he told that story about Chanyeol peacefully sleeping through two fire drills and snapped at the fire department when they tried to evacuate him.

He quickly dispels any unrelated thoughts once they're inside the bathroom. His gaze lingers for a brief second on the splendid tub Baekhyun couldn't stop praising, before he feels Sehun's eyes on him, kind of expectantly. It's too late to back down now, and Jongin doesn't want to do so, even if he knows this is wrong. Hooking up with someone who's already in a relationship is a thought that has never crossed Jongin's mind. 

But Sehun seems like he's forgotten all about the concept of personal space, drawing meaningless patterns on the nape of Jongin's neck with his nails, sending trickles of sweat down Jongin's spine. And also considering that he smells like fresh flowers, despite the amount of alcohol he'd consumed, and Jongin, once in a while, would make a bad decision, because a wise man once said, _A wrong decision is still better than indecision_.

Jongin wraps a shaky arm around Sehun's waist to pull him closer. He's met with no resistance in the form of Sehun pressed up against his chest.

"We're drunk," Jongin whispers, like that's going to change anything.

"We're so drunk," Sehun echoes, and Jongin drinks up the sheer excitement on Sehun's face, then without warning, draws their mouths together. Sehun gasps, but soon he's kissing back, swiping his tongue at the seam of Jongin's lips, coaxing them open and when Jongin eagerly lets him in with a delighted moan, Sehun's tongue curls around his mouth. Jongin's hands slide up under Sehun's cardigan, caressing the bare, smooth skin and the ragged groan Sehun lets out inside Jongin's mouth goes straight to Jongin's cock.

Sehun kisses the way he looks, sweet and tender, even when he tastes like tequilla and vodka and raspberry-flavored tonic. Jongin shifts one leg between Sehun's, and fuck, maybe he's imagining things but is Sehun grinding against his thigh and is he hard? Jongin moves one hand lower to Sehun's ass, and _Jesus_ , it's really Sehun's ass on the underside of his palm, firm and round and a masterpiece of art. Sehun pulls away and laughs when Jongin squeezes it, he sounds out of breath and looks respectfully so, lips tauntingly red and cheeks flushed.

"You're so beautiful," Jongin mutters, kissing down the line of Sehun's jaw, loving how soft Sehun's skin is underneath his touch. "So pretty."

"Careful," Sehun shudders when Jongin twiddles around a nipple with the tip of his finger. "Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law."

Jongin has no idea why these words turn him on, but again, he has no idea about this entire situation. He leans in again, this time Sehun's lips meet his half way, guiding him into a ferocious kiss. Infinity seems to stand still until they part for air, Sehun hides his face in the crook of Jongin's neck, teeth nicking at his collarbone. "Jongin," Sehun says, and shit, Jongin already misses the warmth of Sehun's mouth on him. 

"I'm about to plead insanity," Jongin croaks out, making Sehun giggle, his breath sticky and hot on Jongin's skin. His hands are creeping all up Jongin's shirt, touching him there. "Fuck, Sehun," Jongin hisses, tilting his head to capture Sehun's swollen lips again, all the while unbuttoning Sehun's pants and slipping his hand in there. Sehun gasps — he's hard, Jongin can confirm now.

Sehun twists his hips against Jongin. Jongin does his best to keep up, the alcohol is really getting to his head now. There's a buzz in his body that tells him to undress Sehun until he's naked as the day he were born.

"You're talking out loud again," Sehun whispers. He fists his hand in Jongin's hair while Jongin goes to work on his neck, teeth nicking in a way not strong enough to leave bruises, but wild enough to leave Sehun gasping. "The counter," Sehun says, and that sounds like the best idea ever. "You're very smart," Jongin says. "Why are lawyers so smart."

Sehun stares at him blankly, then he starts laughing. "You're lucky that you're hot," he throws his arms around Jongin's neck and Jongin automatically grasp at his waist. "Because since we met you've been saying all the weird shit." Sehun's breath is setting him on fire. "Just get us to the counter."

Jongin practically lifts Sehun off his feet, drawing their mouths back together as they move to the marble counter on the other side of the spacious bathroom. Sehun scrunches his nose when Jongin gently pushes him down onto the cold surface. He unravels his limbs slowly from Jongin, the fabric of his cardigan drawing tightly over his broad chest, the fluid motions make Jongin's muscle clench tighter because Sehun looks so damn _good_. Like I want to fuck you hard, hear you moan wetly and let you scratch my skin until there's blood good.

When Sehun arches a thick eyebrow, Jongin surges forward, sucking at Sehun's lower lip and crowds him back against the wall, feeling the the wetness from the faucet bleed into the back of his open palms. "I'm going to take off your pants," he rubs light circles on the inner of Sehun's thighs. "Is that okay?"

"You're wiping your wet hands on my pants," Sehun grimaces. "I'd take them off anyway."

Jongin pats his butt. "All right." He paints the curve along Sehun's shoulders with butterfly kisses, savoring Sehun's happy little whimpers as he pulls down Sehun's pants and boxers. He slides his thumb along the vein on the underside of Sehun's cock, and Sehun mewls. "Jongin, please." He tugs at the hem of Jongin's shirt. "Take this off too."

Jongin immediately obliges, it's already too hot, with the way Sehun grins up at him, eyes twinkling pools of brown, or the way Sehun pulls Jongin closer by wrapping his legs around his bare torso, soft heels digging into fevered skin.

"Lube is in the left cabinet," Sehun says, and because Jongin's conscience filter melts away since god knows when, he drapes himself across Sehun to reach the door. The small bottle lays quietly next to the essentials: deodorant, shaving cream, aloe vera lotion, and toothpaste. Jongin drops his gaze to the two toothbrushes in the metal holder, but before his mind can wander, he feels razor-edged teeth scraping against his neck impatiently.

"I'm going to sue the hell of you," Sehun groans, "if you don't—"

"I've got you," Jongin assures him despite himself. He coats his fingers with a generous amount of the cooling liquid, slides one down the crack between Sehun's cheeks, and presses his way in. It's smooth and tight and Sehun's swollen lips part as he pants, grinding up on Jongin's finger almost imperceptively. Jongin curls his finger shallowly at first, testing the water and he can't help but grin like an idiot when Sehun tells him to add another. He barely knows what's right and what's wrong at this stage, for he's enjoying the pleasure far too much. His cock is pulsing in his underwear, Sehun's ragged groan and hazy chuckle vibrating against his skin as Jongin scissors him open. It's leisurely.

When the third finger slips inside, Sehun entangles his hand in Jongin's tousled hair and drags him forward for a kiss. Jongin delibrately goes slow, sliding his tongue over the roof of Sehun's pretty mouth, down his jaw, licking a stripe over his carotid. Sehun arches his back at the sensation of Jongin sinking his fingers deeper, breathing a notably loud moan into Jongin's neck when Jongin finally finds his sweet spot.

"Fuck," Sehun says, breathless. "Fuck." And Jongin agrees wholeheartedly, because, _fuck_. Sehun is looking up at him with half-lidded eyes, pale skin glistening with sweat, and he's clenching around Jongin's slick fingers. It's unreal, Sehun's spreading his thighs for Jongin and only Jongin. They've passed the point of turning back. Not like Jongin wants to turn back. But he wants to slather Sehun in attention, whispers praises into soft hair, though he knows it will not mean anything by the time he leaves, and it scares him how eager he is to give Sehun.

"Jongin," Sehun sighs. "I'm not a porcelain doll. You can move faster."

_He's so fucking adorable_ , Jongin thinks, watching Sehun buck his hips backwards in an attempt to actively get Jongin's fingers even deeper. The position isn't comfortable enough, so Jongin lifts one of Sehun's legs, puts it over his shoulder, while the fingers of his other hands rub against his prostate, pulling out and pressing back in, rough enough to be called a thrust, until Sehun is trembling, messily chasing after his own breath.

Jongin could come untouched at the sight. Growling, he bends down to leave a trail of kisses along Sehun's inner thigh, then lets his tongue dance at the head of Sehun's leaking cock, tastes the dripping precome and Sehun shivers visibly, a half-scowl etched onto his face before Jongin wipes it away by crooking his fingers against the most sensitive spot they can find, letting the pleasure burst through Sehun's body. He licks into the foreskin of Sehun's cock before takes him fully in his mouth, hallowing his cheeks in and out. He can feel Sehun's nails clawing at his scalp, can feel Sehun's desperation in the way he swears in a shattered gasp as Jongin massages his prostate and sucks his cock at the same time.

"Jesus," Sehun grits his teeth, the dual sensation is overwhelming when Jongin laps his tongue up the underside of Sehun's pulsing erection and fucks him enthusiastically with his fingers. He blinks at Jongin through long eyelashes, because at this rate he’s not really sure if he could warn Jongin verbally before he comes, but by the reaction glint in Jongin's eyes, he's sure Jongin knows that Sehun is not going to last long. Jongin's plush lips are filthy red around his cock, and damn if it's not the hottest thing ever. Deep inside him, Jongin's fingers speed up to match with the pace he's drowning Sehun's cock in the velvet heat of his mouth. Sehun throws his head back, and when Jongin presses down rougher unexpectedly, he's coming in waves, his heart racing and he sees fireworks dancing behind his closed eyelids.

Jongin gently withdraws his fingers, running them down Sehun's hipbones. After a while, Sehun opens his eyes, pushing himself on his own elbows and quietly kisses Jongin. "That was good," he says in a baby voice. Jongin smiles back. Good is such an understatement.

Horny may be the accurate statement then, because Sehun sits up, roams his hands all over Jongin's abs and palms Jongin's crotch, earning an uncharacteristically needy whine from the latter. Jongin's cock is so swollen, he could've creamed his pants when Sehun came, but that would be embarassing, so he wills himself to hold back, which seems like a very challenging task at the moment since Sehun's touching him.

"Do you," Sehun murmurs against his ear, "want me to suck you off?"

Jongin thinks he may come at the mere contact of Sehun's lips on his cock, so, no. "It's okay," he starts. "Let's clean you up first. I can take care of myself."

Sehun's hands still, but when Jongin flicks his gaze up, Sehun is _pouting._ Jongin relents automatically. "Uhm," he surrenders, not having enough time to react when Sehun unbuttons his pants and frees his cock.

"God, you're sexy," Sehun purrs, wrapping his pretty hand around Jongin's cock, and Jongin's balls goes unusually tight just by looking down at it. He gasps as Sehun begins to stroke him up and down in an insistent rhythm, rubbing his thumb over the hot, sensitive head and massaging his balls lightly. Jongin's abdomen tenses up, he drops his head in the crook of Sehun's neck, nuzzling and licking and sniffing his lovely scent. He can feel himself being driven to the edge of the cliff. As close as he is, it doesn’t take long – Jongin comes with a stifled growl in his throat, dripping down Sehun's fist and then it's over.

Sehun waits for Jongin's senses to come back to normal, acknowledges him with a gentle pat on the back. He looks sleepy, undoubtedly beautiful, and Jongin leans in to capture those lips. This time, they kiss slowly, just lips moving against lips, no tongue involved. Jongin tries to remember the feeling.

Sehun doesn't say anything when Jongin wets a towel with lukewarm water and cleans him up. It only takes a few minutes, but as Jongin finishes helping Sehun put his pants back on, Sehun already dozes off, forehead down on Jongin's shoulder.

Jongin's arms are straining with Sehun's weight by the time he tucks Sehun into bed. Chanyeol is lying on his side, snoring softly, unaware of the hot mess that just takes place right in his suite, with his _boyfriend_ of all people. Sehun stirs when Jongin's warmth leaves him, and quickly curls into the curve of Chanyeol's back. Jongin's throat hurts when he swallows, he can taste his own spit, a weird mix of whiskey, rum and Sehun's come. He doesn't like it.

✦

"I don't want to talk about it," Jongin says when he hears the bathroom door open. His voice sounds too hoarse and raspy for his own liking.

Through the mirror, he spots a small smile on Ten's face. "It's okay, hyung." The younger man leans against the door. "I just want to check on you."

"I'm fine."

Ten's sharp eyes narrow at him. "Where did you get that towel from?"

Jongin stares at the fabric in his grip. Right. The towel. He'd taken it with him, like a criminal taking the murder weapon away from the crime scene. Not a good analogy, but whatever. Chanyeol doesn't need to wake up from his hangover to find a towel reeking of alcohol, sex and a stranger's smell. Jongin sets the towel on the edge of the sink. "Nowhere," he lies, the room is spinning faster than he could keep up with.

Ten takes a few steps forward until he's looking at Jongin straight in the face. "You should go to sleep. Taemin hyung says we have to leave at 9."

Jongin doesn't bother to question why Ten has become a part of their squad now. He feels like his whole body is on fire. He couldn't quite place the feeling in his chest, but he knows it has to do with Sehun and his smiles, the sweetness that'd ruined Jongin since the moment they first met. His stomach hurts at the raw memory.

"Jongin, look at me." It takes Jongin a few seconds to recognize the warmth of Ten's hand on his back. "Take a breath, hyung." Ten's voice is nice. Not as nice as Sehun's, but enough to give him comfort. "Are you going to be sick?"

Jongin's skin is cold despite beads of sweat dampening his hairline. "I don't know."

He doesn't register what happens, but one moment he's facing Ten, then he's staring down at the toilet seat, throwing up until there's nothing left in his system. He's so tired when he finally finishes, resting his cheek against the cold porcelain seat. His throat still hurts, but he's feeling much lighter. There's a cold washcloth dabbing at his forehead, the corner of his mouth, then his neck. "How're you feeling?" Ten asks.

"Still alive, I guess," Jongin says. Ten chuckles. "Let's go back to your room, okay? I'll also get you some water."

"I just don't know how to face him," Jongin slurs. It's over now. They both wanted fun, and they had fun. Jongin just conveniently forgets to factor in the dreadful reality afterwards. "It's so complicated."

"Then don't think about it," Ten says. He pulls Jongin up with a strength Jongin doesn't know he possesses. "Get some sleep first. We can talk about whatever's bothering you later when you're not wasted."

"If I'm not wasted, I don't want to talk about it," Jongin says. Mark is snoring loudly on the king-sized bed, hogging all four pillows to himself.

"That works too," Ten nods. "Damn, Mark stole the pillows again. Stay here, hyung, I'm going to grab some extra pillows from Room Service—"

"No, it's fine. I can barely keep my eyes open," he says, heaving out a sigh of relief when his back hits the plush mattress. "Thank you, Ten."

"No problem, hyung," Ten hovers over him to turn off the light, and Jongin is beyond exhausted that he passes out immediately.

✦

Jongin manages to evade Sehun and Chanyeol for the morning, thanks to the kayaking trip Baekhyun'd purchased in advance as part of their vacation package. Physically, because the memory from last night lives vividly, rent-free in his mind. A red bruise blooms on his collarbone, where Sehun'd bitten him to make him move his fingers sharper, faster. He spends a suspiciously long amount of time covering it up with Taemin's concealer, only to expose himself the moment he steps into the car because Taemin never tans, so the uneven tone gives Jongin away.

Mark chokes on his coffee when Baekhyun rounds on Jongin, eyes bright with intent. "You smell _different_."

Sometimes, in the middle of his lonely Netflix and chill, Jongin wonders if Baekhyun is secretly a werewolf. "I smell like booze," he replies, heading for the third row to avoid Baekhyun. "And your shower gel."

"Actually it's mine," Taemin chimes in. He's folding a hankerchief for Mark. Maybe Taemin is way too deep in this family game. "Though you smell more like leftover sexual tension than my shower gel."

Jongin makes a disgruntled noise. "Did Ten tell you?"

"He didn't," Baekhyun says. "But I found an unfamiliar towel in the bathroom and it did not smell like any of us."

"It means nothing," Jongin protests, swallowing past the lump in his throat. _It really means nothing_. "We're going back tomorrow."

There's a gleam in Baekhyun's expressive eye that looks identical to a challenge when he smiles at Jongin. "You know I support you in everything, right?" He drawls. "I can always extend your leave."

The concern, though, is genuine. Jongin rakes a hand through his messy hair and sighs. "Yeah. But I don't think I'll need it."

The kayaking trip is fun. They paddle along the calm, crystal waters of the coast, taking in the picturesque views and enjoying the moment with nothing but the sun above them and the incredible sparks in the water beneath. Mark happily films everything with his GoPro, too focused on his vlogging career to notice his surroundings and almost loses his beloved device to a group of playful seals that unexpectedly dart under their kayak. Before lunch, they explore a cliff tucked behind the harbour. The coastline view from the top of the cliff is magnificent. Taemin pulls everyone into a group photo, the sun dances on their features as they smile at the camera, seabirds circling over their head. It's a stunning photo.

Lunch is at a local restaurant with delicious seafood. Baekhyun suggests they spend some time playing beach volleyball. By the end of it, Jongin is drenched in sweat, but he's beyond happy as he and Taemin keep winning. No other thought slips into his mind, and Jongin is glad. He'll be relaxing tonight with a clear head, then go to bed early and upon his return to Seoul tomorrow, everything will be back to normal.

Of course he has to be wrong.

Jongin has no idea why he ends up at the hotel-owned private beach (he does, Baekhyun'd called Ten to their suite as soon as they got back and the four of them, minus Jongin, had pulled the bathroom door shut with an air of finality, so Jongin intelligently took that as a cue). Scrunching his toes, he feels the softness of the golden sand, still damp from the retreating cool water. A gushing breeze caresses his skin. He stretches out his legs, listens to the soporific rhythm of waves.

Then suddenly a splashing sound comes from his left. Curious, Jongin turns his head and what he sees sends his heart straight to his throat.

_Sehun._

Tousled pink hair, glowy skin, aesthetic pleasing side profile. Sehun hauls himself out of the water, shaking his head elegantly until the wet loose strands of hair get stuck to his forehead again. He's in a black diving suit, he's wet, and it's perfect because the suit accentuates Sehun's out-of-this-world body proportion, but it's also not perfect because Jongin kind of salivates like he's hungry while he knows he's not.

Sehun takes off the pair of goggles hung loosely around his neck with a swift movement. Jongin contemplates going back, or more like, running back to the safety of his squad. One more interaction with Sehun, the gorgeous, not-available Sehun and Jongin will fucking _imprint_ like a baby chick.

"Jongin?"

It's too late. "Hi," Jongin says, ready to claim that the beet red blush beginning to spread across his face is because of sunburn, not attraction. "You look...fresh."

Sehun flashes him a boyish grin. "Just went diving." He grabs a towel from a sandy chair and begins to dry his hair. "What about you?"

Sehun makes small talks sound so natural. Jongin tells Sehun about his trip, about the cacophony of colors bathed in glorious sunshine, about the spicy grilled fish with charred radishes. Sehun talks about his newfound peace in free diving. He used to be terrified of the sea, but it changed during his visit to Jeju Island last year. Bo Hyun, who was taking diving lessons at that time to prepare for his new movie, encouraged Sehun to try it out with him and since then, Sehun got _hooked_ , in his words. The blazing sun stretches far and wide, the color of fire changes to rich hues of tangerine. Silhouettes of birds fly across the magenta sky. Sehun's eyes are steady on the horizon, face aglow with the last golden rays. Jongin instinctively moves closer, so Sehun can feel his presence, but stays quiet to let Sehun enjoy his own thoughts as long as he wants to.

"It's amazing how you challenged yourself," Jongin watches as the waves wash the sands in white lace. "I like water, the aqua life. But it makes me anxious thinking about going down into the black depths with only sharks around me."

Sehun bumps his shoulder playfully. "It's not that dangerous. All you have to do is follow the rules."

"I thought you said," Jongin raises his voice in feigned mockery, "rules are meant to be broken."

One of Sehun's eyebrows creeps up slightly. He's a lot closer than Jongin thinks, close enough for a kiss if Jongin leans over a bit. He smells like salty air and deep green summer foliage. "Doesn't apply for being underwater," he shrugs. "The rules here are to keep you safe."

"What are they?"

"Watch your depth. Check your air. To reduce decompression sickness, do a safety stop: five meters, three minutes. Refrain from taunting any creature. And most importantly," Sehun cranes his neck, putting Jongin's nerve endings on high alert. "Don't ever hold your breath."

It's simple beneath the water. Your breath is the only sound you hear. You follow the rules, you live. On the surface, there are so many unforeseen variables. Increased crime rates, cutthroat business competitions led to bankruptcy, unhelpful best friends, the insoluble moral dilemma of falling for someone isn't yours, and never will be.

"We're having a bonfire tonight," Sehun says. The sun is already dipping behind the horizon. "Chanyeol, me, and a few friends of us. You can join if you want. Your friends, too. Chanyeol has his acoustic guitar. I think Taemin will love this."

Jongin's heart says yes, but his mind says no.

"Yes," Jongin replies belatedy. "We'd love that."

Baekhyun doesn't bat an eyelid when Jongin says, "We're joining a bonfire after dinner." Mark croons. Jongin knows the kid has always been a fan of outdoor activities. Taemin just continues to prod at the homemade canapés, though Jongin doesn't miss the way his eyebrow lifts in bemusement.

Ten, however, is straightforward. "Seems like he wants to have another due process."

Jongin pinks. Sehun is a lawyer, he can definitely get him off. Jongin should really stop with level up his sad nerdism. He's not that desperate to show off his shallow legal knowledge through cheesily harassing pick-up lines just to get laid. He usually has better game than this, but with Sehun, it's hard to stay on his feet. By all accounts, it's a waste of time to talk feelings: Sehun and Jongin have different lives, and Sehun's would not be swayed by one wild night. Potentially two, but even that won't make any difference.

"Not everything can be measured over time, you know," Baekhyun concludes thoughtfully. "Maybe he's the right person you've been looking for since you were in diapers."

"Doesn't change the fact he's taken." Jongin says firmly, disregarding how Taemin is about to make an argument. "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."

There's a pregnant pause. Jongin quickly corrects. "I mean the thing about me and Sehun," he claps Ten on the shoulder. "You can come to Seoul with us. Join Privé. We're planning to launch a streetwear line next year, but I think Baekhyun already told you that."

He secretly enjoys the flabbergasted look on Baekhyun's usual smug face. "How did you know? I—I was waiting for his answer first. It's a big decision, and—"

"You printed out his drawings on Instagram, hyung." Jongin'd come across the folder hidden beneath Baekhyun's floral T-shirts and his fucking sombrebro while searching for Taemin's concealer. That was when he realized Baekhyun didn't simply come here for vacation. But his best friend is a man of actions, so Jongin knows he will not get the slightest hint from him before things begin to fall into place. "It's all good. You don't have to tell me. But Ten is cool." He grins cheekily. "And I'd love to work with him."

Mark cuts in. "Incredible," he smiles, and reaches out for the chilled champagne bottle. "Let's have a toast."

✦

Chanyeol's friends work in the music industry, and of course, they know Taemin. One of them turns out to be a long-time acquaintance of Baekhyun, another went to the same university with Mark. Chanyeol already builds a cabin style structure in a pre-designated fire ring on the beach. Mark starts the fire with a match, soon everyone is sitting in a circle, embraced by the flickering red and orange warmth. The woody fragrance of smoke renders them with smiles and chatter, as Ten throws tin-foil wrapped potatoes to the flame and Chanyeol starts strumming his guitar.

Jongin doesn't know how long it's been since they're out here, watching the wood burning through a passage of time. He sags against Baekhyun, holding a beer to his cold lips. Grey smoke gets lost in the night, then Chanyeol smiles, looking like an excited puppy. "Here comes the exclusive performance," he says. "You guys are very lucky, because Sehun hardly agrees to sing in front of anyone besides me."

Jongin perks up at the sound of _Sehun_. Chanyeol is a lucky bastard. He's got a successful career, two dogs, and a wonderful boyfriend. Said boyfriend has Chanyeol's jacket over his shoulder, pale skin glows red and orange as he darts out his tongue to wet his lip. Jongin can feel the heat drying his skin, scorching, but then Sehun starts to sing and Jongin's world stops.

Sehun's voice is warm and hypnotic, like a cup of warm honey tea on a winter day. He only sings one verse, something about walking by the Apgujeong Rodeo Station, and that's more than enough for Jongin's emotions to spiral down. He's rendered speechless, breathless. The magnitude of his affection threatens to break through his fragile walls. He looks aways and meets Baekhyun's understanding gaze.

Baekhyun takes Jongin's hand in his. "Hey," he soothes. Jongin inhales. Fortunately, Chanyeol's friend switches to an upbeat song. The mood lights up, Jongin finishes his beer, but his world doesn't right itself just yet.

Jongin isn't sure how it happens: Sehun sitting next to him, a sliver of his stomach shown under his shirt. Where's Baekhyun? Jongin looks around only to find the man in question breakdancing with Ten and Chanyeol to the beat of a dubstep remix while the others cheer loudly. No one pays attention to Jongin. Apparently, Baekhyun doing a handstand is more important than Jongin and his internal crisis.

"We should get more wood from the warehouse," Sehun murmurs. "Ten says they have pine needles and dry seaweed there as well."

In the warehouse, Sehun kisses him before he can ask where the pine needles and grass are located. Sehun kisses him like he doesn't have anything else to do, nothing but go to courts and kiss Jongin like the Supreme Court's final judgments depend on it. Jongin kisses back passionately, tows Sehun closer by wrapping his arms around snatched waist. Sehun threads his fingers into Jongin's hair, tugging at the tuft of brown strands; something sticks in Jongin's throat at the familiar touch.

They don't have much time, so Sehun jerks them off while Jongin's tongue plays with his nipples. Jongin holds Sehun securely in his grip when they come, and Sehun's eyes glance down at him, dark and out of focus but so eager, yanking Jongin up and jamming their swollen mouths back together. The cool air on Jongin's now-soft cock makes him shiver and ache for more, more, more.

He's always been a bit more than infatuated.

Sehun nuzzles into his favorite place to rest on Jongin's chest. "Come to my room tonight," he whispers, nails scraping over the back of Jongin's neck.

Jongin gets his clothes back on, Sehun lets him straighten him up as if he were a baby. He takes out his handkerchief — Mark's, the one that Taemin carefully prepared for him like he was sending Mark off to kindergarten — and wipes the cum stain off his sweatshirt. It doesn't help.

"Fuck, this is Lucas's," Jongin groans. "He'll punch me."

"Tell him you lost it would be a smarter idea," Sehun advises. He smiles when Jongin wraps Chanyeol's jacket around him, looking so genuinely happy that Jongin finds himself trembling with guilt. He cannot ruin Sehun. He _cannot_.

✦

Jongin feels like the biggest asshole on earth. Personality wise, not literal meaning wise, because Mark's features had contorted in a concoction of mild disgust, curiosity and admiration when Jongin told him that in respond to his question of why Jongin were furiously drinking whiskey straight from the bottle at six in the morning.

He didn't come to Sehun last night. Since they returned to the bonfire, stocking up wood and pine needles, Jongin couldn't help but notice the intimacy between Sehun and Chanyeol. The way Chanyeol put a hand on Sehun's thigh, the way Sehun stared at Chanyeol with so much love and softness in his endearing eyes, the way they effortlessly finished each other's sentence, or the inside joke that made Sehun burst out laughing. Jongin had never felt so low in his life — he was taking advantage of Sehun's physical need, too blinded by his unrequited feelings to draw a clear line between right and wrong. Sehun is unattainable, has been from the start. There's no story of them to be written.

Jongin wakes up with his heart on his sleeve, broken into pieces, and his love probably sleeping safe and sound in Chanyeol's bed. Jongin goes straight for the whiskey until Taemin comes back from his morning swim, snatches the bottle from his hand and forces him to drink a full glass of his signature hangover mix, ginger water with lemon, honey and mint. He's able to sleep for two hours after that, and in his dream, he sees pink hair and bright smiles, bright enough to dull the stars but not the hollow pain in his chest.

He doesn't feel like any less of an asshole the next time he wakes up, just hungry. Taemin is off to somewhere with Chanyeol's dancer friend from yesterday. Baekhyun and Mark are at Jongdae's house, and Ten is on duty. Ten does leave Jongin a message, telling Jongin to call him if he needs anything; Jongin isn't in a mood to talk, though, so he puts on a hoodie and drags himself to the lobby lounge. He hopes he can still make it in time for breakfast.

He expects many things. No croissant, no noodle soup, only scrambled eggs and greasy bacon left. He surely doesn't expect the scene that happens right across his table: Chanyeol is kissing a guy, in broad daylight. The guy's wearing a snapback and a pair of sunglasses that cover half of his face, and Chanyeol draws him in for an open-mouthed kiss, Chanyeol's large hand rests below his ear, his thumb caressing the apple of his cheek.

Chanyeol is gentle with Sehun, and he treats everyone around him with a respectable degree of tenderness, but this — this is Chanyeol increasing his softness filter to 300 percent. The guy reaches up to tangle his arms around Chanyeol's neck, both of them lost in their own world. Jongin's world, however, shatters with rage. He's sure apple juice doesn't taste like this, like acid, burning and slicing, his knuckles turn white from clenching around the mug so hard. All he can think about is Sehun. Their relationship may be on rocky ground, but no one deserves to witness this horrendous display of betrayal. Especially not Sehun, and especially not after Jongin tries his best to give up and walk away, believing that Chanyeol will make Sehun happy.

Anger brews in him like tea in a boiling pot, and when Chanyeol grabs the guy's ass, Jongin snaps. His chair scraps loudly as he stands up. There are other guests watching him, whispering. Which is unsurprising, considering that he just dumps a glass of ice cold water on Chanyeol. Chanyeol's hair is wet, water soaking through the thin fabric of his T-shirt. He shudders, then the guy in his arms takes off his sunglasses and narrows his eyes dangerously at Jongin. He looks like a tiny high school student, but his air of utter control is imperturbable. Jongin could feel the flower vase on the table tremble, but he refuses to back down.

Chanyeol is the one who speaks first. "Kyungsoo," he grabs the man's wrist. "Jongin is a friend."

"Is he," the man — Kyungsoo — says quietly. "That doesn't seem like something friends do to greet each other. Is he alright? Or perhaps I should open his skull and check?"

Chanyeol turns to place himself between Kyungsoo and Jongin. "Jongin," he bristles. "You better explain why the fuck you did that or I can't guarantee that your future children can live to see their father."

What the fuck is Chanyeol saying? But Kyungsoo's deadly glare is a metaphorical bucket of water to Jongin's fury. "Why are you kissing him?" Jongin hisses. "Do you even care about Sehun?"

"Kyungsoo is my boyfriend," Chanyeol says. "Of course I care about Sehunnie! But what does he have to do with this?"

Jongin can't answer. Not when Chanyeol's words start to sink in. Not when Chanyeol's eyes go wide comically. "Oh my god," he says. "The entire time — you thought Sehun and I are dating? _Oh my fucking god_."

"You're not?" Jongin can guess from Chanyeol's reaction. He's seen it countless times in the mirror, his own expression when someone asks whether he's dating Baekhyun or Taemin. But he still wants to hear it from Chanyeol.

"Didn't I tell you Kyungsoo is my boyfriend?" Chanyeol counters. "Sehun and I are best friends. We never date. He's like a brother to me." He blinks at Jongin. "You could've just asked me. Or Sehun. Oh god, I can't believe this is happening."

Jongin doesn't like the amused spark in Kyungsoo's gaze. "Is he the reason why Sehun was too busy sulking this morning that he didn't bother with breakfast?"

There's bile rising at the back of Jongin's throat. Regret tastes heavy on the tip of his tongue. "Probably," Chanyeol says.

"I thought the same when I first met Chanyeol too." It takes a moment for Jongin to realize Kyungsoo is talking to him. "When Sehun introduced him to me, he looked at me like he'd kill me if I ever laid a finger on his precious Sehunnie. Sehun swore that there was nothing romantic between them. I didn't buy that. I believed they were just two idiots mutual pining each other. Turned out that was one of the rare times I made a wrong deduction."

"You were playing hard to get," Chanyeol snorts. Kyungsoo pretends to punch him, but all Jongin can see is the look of love in Kyungsoo's eyes as he takes a towel from the waiter's tray and starts wiping Chanyeol's face.

"You should go talk to him," Chanyeol eyes Jongin. "Kyungsoo and I will go scuba diving until noon. You know where to find him."

"I'm not sure if it's a good idea," Jongin says. He'd fucked up so bad. "He probably tells me to go fuck myself if I show up after what I did to him."

"It takes a lot more than that for Sehun to hate you," Chanyeol shrugs. "He talks about you."

Jongin yelps. "What did he say?" He hopes it's not about how he made Jongin see stars in less than a minute with a handjob. As much as Jongin doesn't mind Sehun bragging about hooking up with him, he'd like to keep the details between them only. Until they can be _more_.

Chanyeol squints at him. "That's really not my place to tell, don't you think?"

✦

The walk to Sehun's suite seems long and non-existent at the same time. A part of Jongin feels like he's floating in another universe. He's full on freak-out mode when he presses the bell. There's shuffling noises inside; Jongin's gut squirms in a way it hasn't done since the day before Privé's first official launch five years ago. Footsteps approaching, then the door swings open.

"For fuck's sake, hyung, I told you to bring the key card with—" Sehun stops mid-sentence when he realizes it's not Chanyeol standing in front of him. He exhales, a flash of hurt crosses his face and Jongin desperately wants to punch himself for hurting Sehun. Baekhyun always scolds him for keeping things to himself; he's right. He should've asked sooner.

Sehun's voice is cold when he speaks. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry," Jongin says. He realizes he didn't have any plan to apologize before rushing here. If he drops to his knees begging for forgiveness, would Sehun listen to him? "I'm sorry, Sehun."

Sehun's jaw clenches, though he's trying to appear casual. "There's nothing to be sorry about," he says. "I never said you had to come."

This, is exactly what Jongin needs to clarify. It's now or never. He takes one step forward. A glimmer of hope grows in him as Sehun shows no sign of slamming the door in his face. He's looking at Jongin, like he's waiting for an answer.

"I thought you and Chanyeol are dating. I—I don't want to be a homewrecker, but I like you so much I couldn't stop myself." Jongin admits, his heartbeat noisy against his ribcage. "It scares me because I haven't felt that way since I had my first crush, and you're not only pretty but also smart and knowledgeable and you're everything I've ever wanted." The air is heavy with hope and regret on Jongin's part. "That night when I brought you back to bed, I wished it were me laying next to you. I ditched you last night not because I didn't like you. It's because I wasn't ready for heartbreak. I thought you wanted fun, while I wanted to be more than that. I'm sorry for the asshole move that I pulled."

He barely notices that he's been biting his lip so harshly it's bleeding. He's only aware of his lightheadedness. Should have drunk coffee instead of whiskey. Sehun is stepping closer to him. Jongin can count his eyelashes. A warm hand wraps around his, a contented sigh. "Jongin," Sehun murmurs, hot breath fanning across Jongin's cheeks. "What did I tell you about free diving?"

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to say to make you forgive—" Jongin stutters. "W-What?"

"Don't hold your breath," Sehun says, then without giving any signal, crashes his lips onto Jongin's, knocking all the wind out of him. Sehun smells like a peaceful morning, like flower and clean laundry, green tea and mint toothpaste. Sehun presses his tongue to the seam of Jongin's lips, and Jongin gives him, moaning softly when Sehun's tongue delves inside. When they break apart for oxygen, Sehun rests his forehead against Jongin's. "You're an idiot."

Jongin easily encircles Sehun in his arms. "Only because of you," he says, and it sounds cheesier than those letters Baekhyun write to Taemin, the ones that makes Jongin cringe, but he gets it now. Because at this moment, with Sehun sinking into his hold, smiling up at him, Jongin could write a thousand novels and it would still not be enough to describe the sunshine glowing in his chest. "I like you. I like you so, so much."

Sehun grins smugly. "I know."

As Jongin gets drunk on the thrill of victory, Sehun pulls him inside the room. He doesn't even blush when he says, "Are we going to continue where we left off last night or not?"

Jongin can only nod. "What better alibi could I have than doing that?"

✦

"I hate you," Baekhyun throws a suitcase into the trunk of Jongin's car. "You looked so miserable this morning I spent three hours at Jongdae's to bake a cheesecake for you and guess what I came back to?"

"What did you come back to?" Mark asks, hoisting a backpack onto his shoulder. Baekhyun demurs, the last thing he wants to give the youngest model whom he's come to love as his ultimate baby is a graphical description of Jongin eating out Sehun's lace-underwear-clad ass on Baekhyun's bed. He waves Mark off and growls at Jongin. "I hope you go to hell."

Jongin laughs from where he and Sehun are laying on the hood of the car, taking selfies. "Then we can co-run," he snickers. "I heard we get a very good view of heaven from the throne."

Baekhyun looks at Jongin's hand on the curve of Sehun's waist, at Jongin nuzzling into Sehun's hair and fucking _inhaling_. His gaze flickers past the couple to meet Taemin's smirk, which clearly says, _I told you so_. "Are you sure you want to go back?" He frowns. "You can spend one more day here and drive back with Sehun. Been a while since you go on a vacation."

"Sehun has a meeting with his client tomorrow," Jongin replies. "If we leave now, we can have time to pick up Monsieur and Vivi before dinner."

"Monsieur and Vivi?"

"Sehun's dogs," Jongin grins. "I'm meeting the kids."

"You guys are moving fast," Baekhyun comments. Sehun blushes, hiding his face in Jongin's chest and Jongin doesn't miss the opportunity to pull Sehun onto his lap. They're still on the hood of the car, disregarding all the glances from the passersby. Baekhyun gestures to the two big suitcases at his feet. "Then why don't you get your ass down here and put your stuff in the trunk? I'm not your assistant."

"Hyung," Jongin whines petulantly, "can't you see I'm busy?"

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. "Busy with what?"

Jongin shifts so Sehun can have more leg space while occupying Jongin's lap. He beams at Baekhyun. "I'm holding an entire world in my arms."

Sehun makes an embarassed choking sound, but Baekhyun can tell he likes it. He's an empathetic person.

"So, hyung," Mark begins as he sets up his GoPro on the dashboard of Taemin's car. Baekhyun is in the driver's seat, going through his Spotify playlist. Seeing Jongin and Sehun bubbling with affection and joy makes him want to put on some sappy love songs. "Do you think it's a good idea to put the anilingus scene in my vlog?"

"WHAT?"

"The thing they did in your room," Mark explains, patient. Ten looks like he's about to die from laughter. In the passenger seat, Taemin pales. "I have several other GoPros in our hotel suite. One in each room," Mark announces.

"We're going to have a talk about this," Baekhyun declares. The camera manages to capture the terrified scowl on Baekhyun's face. "When we get home."

"Marcus, honey," Ten's voice is soft, but his eyes are teasingly bright. "Maybe you should go through all your SD cards. Before you get home."

"Shut up, Ten," Baekhyun speeds up, leaving behind the sound of waves crashing onto the shore. In front of their eyes, brilliant sunlight streams through the trees on the avenue. White clouds stand still on pale blue skies. In the background, Kid Rock begins to sing about his summer fling by the lake in Northern Michigan, and Mark briefly wonders, wherever the guy is now, if he finally meets someone who makes him realize that not all summer romances will fizzle out when September comes.

Sometimes, you just need to wait for the right person to show up.

**Author's Note:**

> [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/forsekais)


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